Losing my job...and the aftermath:

I have been so bad about keeping everybody updated on here, but part of the reason I wasn't writing was because we didn't have anything finalized and I didn't want to jump the gun and write about something that wasn't going to even happen. So after months of not writing...I'm back - for now!

On Tuesday, February 28, 2012, I went into work like I'd been doing every Tuesday since the school year had started back up. Things were finally settling down and I was finally getting things all caught up from surviving another year of what we called "busy season". Since I handled 8 different national accounts for The Salvation Army, we were always bombarded by donations that needed to be put into the database over the holiday's. As soon as Thanksgiving rush would get over Christmas would hit. As soon as Christmas would get over end of year gifts were sent in to try to get their final tax deductions. It was a crazy time of year and it was finally coming to a close. Those things that had been put aside because they weren't as important were finally getting some attention.

Every Tuesday, I would go into work and work like a crazy person because I only had one day in the office per week. The other four I was able to work from home and watch my baby girl. So like every Tuesday, I was trying to get as much done as possible of things that had to be done in the office. Around 3:30, I received a phone call from our HR VP and was asked to come to her office for a little bit. I was wracking my brain trying to figure out if I'd done anything to anybody. I couldn't come up with anything, so figured that I'd just go see what was up.

I entered into her office and saw that my boss was already sitting in there (at this point, he didn't come in on Tuesday's so I was kind of surprised to see him). As many of you already know, I was told that they were downsizing my department and that my services were no longer needed. I could take my time clearing out what little stuff I still had in the office and say goodbye to people if I wanted, but I was no longer an employee.

I guess you could probably say I was in shock. I couldn't believe that they were letting me go. Who was going to take care of my clients - no longer my concern. I showed my boss where everything was and where I was at for everything because I wanted to make sure that my clients wouldn't suffer.

That first night, I couldn't sleep. It was the first night in a long time that Kyleigh actually fell asleep on time and slept the night. That night she would have been a welcome distraction from the lack of sleep and the tossing and turning that took place with me.

The next day was so long! I was so used to our schedule and me being busy while Kyleigh played quietly by herself that I didn't know what to do. I played with her, but the day just seemed to drag. I normally looked forward to her naps since that was when I could get the most done on my work, but did she really need to sleep that long? I needed something to do.

Kyleigh started to get really fussy and I could tell that my being down was making her upset. I told her that God was in control and He knew what He was doing and He would take care of us. That became my mantra over the next few days. After the first two days, I started to see what a blessing it was. I actually had time to do things I'd been neglecting. I actually got to hang out with my adorable and incredibly smart little girl. Not just watch her while I worked, but interact with her - all day!

Like I said, I really was only down for a couple of days. But the more I told Kyleigh that God was in control the more I really started believing it. The more I started thinking that maybe this was God's way of pushing us over the edge to trust Him completely and His way of showing us He had something else for us now. Maybe, just maybe our time in Pennsylvania was finally drawing to a close.

Lessons learned (or a reminder) from a dirty, old fan...

It was such a gorgeous day out this past Saturday that I decided to try to get some spring cleaning done at my house while Kyleigh was taking a nap. A couple of things you should know about Kyleigh if you don't already - she is an incredibly light sleeper and she has super sonic ears. This translates into the house needing to stay quiet while she naps. Fortunately, our house has three floors. So while Kyleigh is asleep on the top floor I can make as much noise in the basement.

I decided to start in what I find to be one of the dirtiest corners of our den - the corner by the door out to our backyard. It was incredibly dusty and dirty in that little corner so I began to dust and go through the little cupboard we have over there - trying to throw out things we really don't need. Once I threw out what we didn't need and organized what we decided to keep I had quite a bit of extra space in the little cupboard.

Now I'm one of those people that loves to "hide" things in cupboards or drawers as much as possible. So, I was trying to decide what to put in the cupboard while still having it close by to grab if I needed it. I decided that the majority if not all of the dog toys could go in the cupboard - my two dogs rarely play with any toys they are too fascinated with Kyleigh now. Then I found a dirty fan that was sitting by the cupboard for when it gets super warm (which until this week it hadn't been!).

Since I'd just taken the time to clean out the cupboard and had wiped everything down there was no way I wanted to put that dusty, dirty fan in my clean cupboard. I mentioned to Jon that I wondered if it could be opened up and cleaned out and a few short minutes later he had the fan opened up as much as it could be.

After getting a rag and water and trying to clean it in my den while getting dirt over everything, I decided to move it into the bathroom over the sink. After a few minutes of brushing the dirt off with an old toothbrush and using the rag to get everything off, my fan looked pretty good!

So the lessons learned...I'm getting there! While I was finishing up the last of the fan cleaning, I looked into the area with the motor and saw how dirty it still looked (not that I could do anything about that). Outwardly, my fan looked/still looks so pretty and clean. But inwardly, my fan was so ugly and dirty. I think by now you probably get where I'm going with this.

It made me stop and think about how so many times in our lives we clean up so well - whether it is to go to church, or just to talk with friends, colleagues, you name it. While the inside of us is still so dirty. We haven't taken the time that we need to have God clean out our bad thoughts, our meanness, our selfishness - the list could go on and on. Unlike my fan that still has a dirty inside, we don't have to remain dirty on the inside! God wants us to be clean all the time, by constantly confessing our sin. He wants us to live lives that our free from the guilt and the sin that we get caught up in so much of the time.

I know it is so much easier to have the facade that everything is clean on the inside - we know how to talk the talk and walk the walk - at least on the outside but God knows what is in our hearts. And can I go a step further and say that especially if you are a parent, your little ones are learning from you and they probably unwittingly see a lot more of what is inside your heart than what you think. It is so easy to put a show on for others when you just see them every once in awhile, but it is so much harder to put a show on all of the time around your family - which is why it is so important to have your heart clean daily so that you don't have to put a show on!

I also know we are humans and even when we are constantly seeking God and His will and trying to live a godly life that we are going to slip up - it happens! Fortunately, we can start the process all over and ask for forgiveness and keep on trying to live our lives for God.

I could go on and on, but I think you get the point. So, what turned into a simple spring cleaning - which by the way was all I got done that day, turned into a valuable reminder to me on how we need to constantly keep our hearts clean and seek God daily!

Promise Me This by Cathy Gohlke

 

Have you been looking for a book that you have trouble tearing yourself away from? Or have you been looking for a book that is a work of fiction, but ties together the fiction story with true life events? What about a book that you will feel like you are right there with the characters - sharing in their joys and their sorrows? Or maybe you've been looking for a book that will show you just how much God loved us and that His Son sacrified everything for us so that we could have eternal life? If any of these reasons resonates with you, then be sure to read this wonderfully written book by Cathy Gohlke.

I've always been fascinated with historical fiction. Some of my favorite events and time periods to read about are the Civil War, the sinking of the Titanic, World War I and World War II. This book doesn't touch on the Civil War or World War II, but it encaptures what life would have been like for the survivors of the Titanic all the way through World War I.

This book begins with Michael Dunnagan - a young boy, who has been badly mistreated - trying to escape from his current life situation. He boards the Titanic before it is even taking passengers and stows away until it ports in Southhampton where its journey is to begin. Once in Southhampton, he meets Owen Allen who is preparing to sail to America onboard the Titanic so that he can hopefully find a better place for him and his little sister Annie with relatives in New Jersey. Owen takes poor Michael under his wing and for the week he has remaining in Southhampton feeds him and gives him work. Annie remains in England until Owen has enough money to pay for her to come over to New Jersey.

Michael decides to once again flee his current situation and stows aboard the Titanic for a second time. Also for a second time he finds himself being rescued by Owen Allen. The two become like brothers in a short time and Owen feels the prompting of God to teach Michael everything he knows about plants and gardening which is what he was going over to America to help with. Since we all know the story of the Titanic, I'm sure you can imagine that this story isn't going to end well.

Owen sacrifices his life so that Michael can start his life over with Owen's family. Here we see the beautiful picture of what Jesus did for us! Owen makes Michael promise that he will save money and bring Annie over as soon as possible.

Without giving the whole book away - Michael works to bring Annie over, but many years pass before he is able to do so. This book shares the story of Michael learning to get over "survivors guilt" and Annie to stop blaming Michael for her beloved brother's death. They start to write to each other and it continues throughout World War I.

So much of this book really tugged at my heartstrings. It was just so beautifully written detailing the feelings that must have been going on for those that survived the sinking of the Titanic to the details of what it must have been like to live in Europe during World War I. I really felt like I was right there! I have not read a book that I enjoyed this much in a very long time! If you ever have the chance to read this book, I highly recommend that you grab a copy and read it. You will not be disappointed!

I'd never read any works by Cathy Gohlke, so you can imagine my surprise that this book was such a great read! I'm looking forward to reading more books from her. If you'd like to learn more about the author and other books that she has written or is planning on writing, you can visit her website here.

In closing, I did want to mention that I received this book for free for an honest review through Tyndale House Publishers, you can find out more information about them by clicking on this link. I was under no obligation to give a positive review, though I did absolutely love this book!

If you would like to read the first chapter of this book for yourself, you can click here.

Valentines Day 2012

Like every Tuesday since the school year started, I had to go into work today. This is really not a bad thing, I actually enjoy my one day a week being in the world of adults - though I often find myself interacting with them like I do with my child, like making funny noises when describing things. I always go into work without any worries because my pastor's wife watches Kyleigh and I know she is getting the most wonderful, personal care and she gets to play with her friend Clayton (or as Kyleigh says, "ay-ton.") So like every other Tuesday, I went into work.

I had a pretty normal day - staying super busy from the time I got there to the time I left. Today was a little different though. I got the most adorable picture of Kyleigh sent to me from Sheri. You can see if you agree. :)

And now we reach the real reason I decided to write today. I can't believe how big my little girl is getting. This last week was a rather rough week - Kyleigh was sick from Wednesday until Sunday. Not much sleep was had by anyone (well I'm not sure how much Jon was affected). Since she was running a really high fever for a couple of days, I took her to the Doctor on Friday. Turns out my little girl had gained almost another whole pound since a few weeks ago.

She's still such a peanut compared to other little ones her age, but at 14.5 months she weighed in at 17 lbs 10 oz which is huge because at her 12 month check up she weighed in at 15 lbs 4 oz.

My little girl is also getting so talkative and really seems to know how to get her point acrossed. I'm sure most people in a relationship did all sorts of "special" things today. Our "special" was picking up our daughter, going home briefly to unload the car of my work, picking up our other car from Jon's parents' house, dropping off our family car to get the muffler fixed and then getting McDonald's on our way home. Now that Kyleigh eats solids we generally get her the McBites and some fries. She loves that she can eat food like Mommy and Daddy. Since Kyleigh and Daddy got the McBites Shareable size, I gave Kyleigh to Jon so they could share their meal. She was slowing down on eating and starting to goof off. We'd asked her if she wanted anymore fries or chicken "cluck, cluck" and she shook her head no. A few minutes later though, I heard her saying "I wan cluck cluck" as she pointed to where her pieces of chicken were sitting. I couldn't believe how clear it was. Though Jon had no idea what she had said - I guess I just hang out with her a lot!

Other recent conversations from Kyleigh include:

Bedtime delay tactics:

•  As Mommy was holding her and rocking her back and forth after a diaper change and a bottle (all possible needs taken care of): Kyleigh looked up at Mommy and said "cack-er." This is comical to me because I was the queen at these kind of delay tactics. Though I always thought my parents were having a "party" after I went to bed which was why I'd try to stay up.
• A couple of weeks later: same scenario. Kyleigh pointed at her eye and said "eye." Mommy said, "Yes, that is your eye. But you need to close your eyes so that you can go to sleep." Kyleigh then pointed at her ear and said "ear." Mommy said, "Yes, that is your ear. I know you can hear me and know that it is time for your eyes to close so you can go to sleep." As you can guess this just started the pointing at her eye again. We did this a couple of times with her pointing at her eye and saying what it was and then me telling her to close her eyes and then her pointing at her ear. Finally I figured she'd delayed enough and put her in her crib for the night.

Playtime:

•  Generally when I'm working, Kyleigh is in her pack-n-play playing with her toys. Her most recent "hobby" is standing up and walking along the edge as she knocks on the wall right next to her pack-n-play. I typically will respond with a knock, knock...who's there? Of course, it started out that I rarely got a response other than a quizzical look. She surpised me the other day by saying "Ky-ee!"
   

Kyleigh is still not walking -  though for the past 7 months she has been pulling herself up on furniture and walking along it. She was standing alone the other day until she realized what was going on and then sat down. Everytime I try to get her to walk to Mommy, she gives me a huge smile and shakes her head no.

She is also growing into a tease! She loves to put her cracker in the face of the dogs and then pull it away. I think she has discovered this gets the best response. She has tried all sorts of things like her toys, their toys, her felt cookies that her Aunt Missy made her, etc. You can tell she is trying to find out what gets them super excited. Once she finds something that they want, she keeps waving it at them and when they try to get it she pulls away and laughs at them. The dogs are so good with her, even when they are trying to grab food from her!

Miscellaneous things I love about being Kyleigh's Mommy:

• I absolutely love getting her up from nap time. I'm usually working when I hear her little voice through the monitor. Sometimes, I can go right up to get her. Other times I'm in the middle of something and have to wait a few minutes to get her. It doesn't seem to matter though. When I reach the top of the stairs, she starts jumping up and down laughing and continues to chatter away. I guess she is telling me about her dreams. :)
• I love how a boring day can be brightened by her little voice and laugh.
• She is such a happy baby - most of the time!

I'm so glad that I have my little Valentine to enjoy! I'm hoping that I'll be able to get some Valentine pictures of her, though they obviously will be a little after Valentines Day.