Still getting over the loss of my baby!

I honestly never thought that I'd become so attached to our furry little mutt. That's what I called her a lot, although she was a purebred Cocker Spaniel. I guess it was a carry over from having mutts all of my life.

She just brought such joy to our lives. I didn't realize how much I talked to her until she was no longer there to talk to. I still find myself talking out loud, but then realize I'm the only one around and I'm glad that nobody can see me because they'd think that I was some kind of crazy person. I loved cuddling with Boo, but that didn't happen a lot. She was a very curious puppy and I guess she just wasn't that curious about me. Everything needed to be explored. The only real time I got to cuddle with her was after her bath time. I'd scoop her up in her towel and she'd sit on my lap like a baby while I dried her off. Then, I'd hold her in the towel for awhile to try to get her as dry as possible. As soon as I would put her on the floor, she would shake and run all over the kitchen, slipping and sliding because she was still wet. She would also try to get dry by rubbing her little body all over my legs, which usually only proceeded to make me cold and wet too.

She was a quick learner and yet very stubborn. She was finally getting the whole "go-to-the-bathroom-outside" trick down. Once she was outside though, she'd forget what she was out there for and run around. She was very picky about the length of the grass though. If it was too long or wet, she'd walk along the edge of our fence on the boards (our fence is a chain-link fence but has wooden boards along the bottom) to get to the spot she chose to use the restroom. Once she'd used the restroom, she'd come running to the door with her little ears bouncing up and down. As soon as she came in the house, she would run upstairs and wait at the top of the stairs for her treat because she'd been a "good girl."

Today, I'm doing a lot better. So far I haven't cried today. But yesterday was hard. I was doing okay until I got home. I happened to walk in the door right at 5 and immediately thought I need to get Boo's food ready. Then, it hit me. I cried for the next 20 minutes or so.

Each day is getting a little easier though, so that's good. I just wish I had my baby back.